It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
