That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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