would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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