Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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