Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
