He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize