So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
