I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
