I wish I could teleport
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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