His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
