He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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