You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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