I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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