wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
