Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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