turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
