If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
