If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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