she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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