i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
