I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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