Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
