guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
