My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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