Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
