I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
