i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
