Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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