And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize