A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
