Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
