Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
