It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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