with your own penis?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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