Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
