i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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