Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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