the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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