Taylor Swift is so right about you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
