I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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