he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
