My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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