Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
