Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
