im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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