Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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