She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
