Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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