I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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