She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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