cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
