week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
