Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
