It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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