Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
