remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
