she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize