Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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