I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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