I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
